Negotiation; Autobio 6

The variables that seem to most influence my shifts in discourse include the person I am negotiating with and the sensitivity of the topic. Negotiations I have mostly occur orally and if it is written it is in the form of email, instant messaging, texting, or leaving comments on facebook.com.

Towards my younger sister and my mother, members of my family whom I most closed to, I express my feelings or complaints first regarding the subject and then proceed to work out a plan. Even if the negotiation is as trivial as the order in which we hit the stores in the mall we still consider anyone’s preferences but mother has the final say. In matters between my siblings, no matter how we feel against a decision, we usually listen to the eldest sibling’s decision. Formalities are not necessary within the family, but I feel obliged to keep some formality when I negotiate with my father. At times I don’t think I want to even try negotiating with him in fact I don’t think “negotiate” is the right word. My mother and I have this tactic where we make him believe he came up with the plan originally but we had laid some foundation for the result we intended. That tactic is usually involves exhausting every and any logical and reasonable argument before resorting to pathos.

In negotiations with cohorts and peers, I find that is best to begin saying something to the extent of “If it’s alright with you” because it seems to be the best way to get started with group projects. I never like to assume the leadership role unless I feel there is a pressing need for it. Having many experiences with class group work, I find it very annoying when someone suddenly becomes the “boss” when there was no instruction to assign one. Some people are happy to follow a good leader and some people would rather do the group assignment individually as much as possible.

In all cases where negotiations are made I always try to keep in mind ways to approach people with maximum respect. Even if it’s a child or someone much younger than me, people are more likely to abide with the stipulations of the negotiation if they feel respected. I try to make an effort to consider the perspectives and feelings of those involved as much as possible.